I am looking forward to this new year, for the simple reason 2013 was such a tumultuous year. I’d lost my dad the previous fall and we were facing all those first year with out dad events. I’d had a bout of cellulitis just before he passed away and that had me nervous. It was so cold where I worked and we seemed to always have tarps draped over the machinery to prevent drips from the ceiling reaching the product, it felt like working under a tent. Anyway I had a day when I thought I was getting a cellulitis infection on my face and made a doctor’s appointment, it turned out to be nothing but the PA asked me about my goiter and about not having had a check up for a while, well that started the whole theme of my year. I saw the surgeon about getting my goiter removed, had my check up and a colonoscopy and a mammogram and while I was under sedation they did a fine needle biopsy of my goiter, because the first ultrasound turned up a nodule, that was a benign thing. The colonoscopy was also fairly routine but I have to have my next in three years.
While I was in the middle of preparing for surgery my best friend, George Willenbring died. It was a surprise but not really a shock. He had been sort of reducing his life, he hardly did anything but smoke cigarettes and drink in his house. He hadn’t seemed like himself in a while, but he was only 46, His family gave him a good send off and his partner Ken, discovered how deeply he had depended on and loved George, George would have been surprised by how many of his family came to say goodbye to him.
while I was in the hospital for the surgery they found out I have a tendency to stop breathing long enough to affect my heartbeat, I should have had a sleep study for sleep apnea, but I am resistant, I can’t imagine being able to tolerate a sleep mask and that kind of noise while I am sleeping. Anyway that lead to consulting a cardiologist and getting a cardiac stress test and seeing a second cardiologist who said I don’t need a pacemaker just yet. The stress test showed some abnormalities but small enough ones that are not requiring any drastic measures, I am taking generic Lipitor which has put my cholesterol into a better range, and I am on blood pressure meds too. The surgery was April 15th, my live in guy drove me in his truck,we were having yet another snow storm. Spring was delayed last year, That was about the last time we had anything close to a civil existence.
Spring finally came, but my relationship with Joe was clearly not working, my financial situation was stressful, something had to give , and what with one thing and another, Joe had to go, he moved in with Ken. I am not proud of how I did that, but it sort of worked. That was in July, about the same time my friend Scott was having his own relationship troubles, one day he called me telling me his fiancee had left him. I have been his shoulder to cry on ever since, it was an eye opening thing to go through , because talking with him was taking me back to the place I had been six years earlier when my marriage ended. I thought I had dealt with all that, but I had a few more tears to cry. Joe took just about as much time as he could moving his stuff out, he still has a bunch o stuff here, six months later. Meanwhile I had another thing happening, I was falling in love with someone, someone I knew from work. He was the voice of reason in my life, between the stuff with Joe and the stuff with Scott and the other stuff with my ex husband Jon( he had an even worse year than me, he and his wife even partly kiddingly asked if they could move in with me!!!!) Kevin kept me sane.
I told him I was interested, I was so scared we’d mess up the friendship it took me a while to do that, I don’t think he was at all surprised, but with one thing and another we muddled through to an interesting place. We are able to talk about anything, We had fun together, but he had a thing hanging over his head. I knew about it sort of but I wasn’t really prepared for it when it hit him. It was a legal issue and he ended up going to jail, directly to jail. I had a bit of trouble finding that out, he’d brought his cats over to my house, just in case, but he’d expected that if he did get sentenced to jail he’d have a day or so to make arrangements, he was wrong. When I found out I did what I could to get him out on work release, only to have him fired the same day, I have never felt so dreadful in my life, but again he helped me stay sane. I started visiting him and I have been able to return the favor. he will be out in a couple of weeks and he is one of the biggest reasons I am looking forward to this new year. I do not know if we are going to be in a romantic relationship or are just going to be good friends, but we do love each other and that is a precious thing. He has been learning things about himself in jail and life is going to be changing drastically for him one way or another when he gets out. I am hoping to be able to help him find that new life, maybe it will be one I can share.